you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
