so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
