I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
