i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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