I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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