I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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