weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
