Sponge bath it is.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
