Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My dick has a subreddit
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
