As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
