oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
