Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
