it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
