do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
