My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
