Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
