She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
