If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the day after is always just damage control
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
