This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pants are for mortals
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
