Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
