dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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