I am in a vortex of obligation.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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