I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
