No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
