So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize