I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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