it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
