You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
