woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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