She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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