i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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