I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize