I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
