the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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