I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
