i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
