its not stalking. its research.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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