getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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