We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
