there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
