u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
