u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
