i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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