would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
