Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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