32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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