Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
