Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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