...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
