christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
