Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
