My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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