you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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