I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
