lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
