I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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