pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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