the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
