it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is the high leading the old right now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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