So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
