is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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